Now I want to point out before I start this blog that I
respect every modern woman who is fighting for equal rights today and don’t
want to lessen their achievements or their aims. What I would like to do is point
out to some of the younger people amongst us what it was like for women when I
was young and what equal rights has meant for us.
Suffragettes had already won the right for us to vote. Women
could train as professional people although not many did. But I’m talking about
the day to day equal rights that women did not have.
The marriage vows used to say ‘love, honour and obey.’ For those who took the vows
seriously and not as just something to say to get married, this was a very
restrictive vow. An example of what this meant is illustrated very well in the
Doctor Who episode The Wire, where a
very mean spirited man rules the roost. This vow was changed to ‘love, honour
and cherish.’ Not sure when but it
was in my lifetime as I can remember the debate about the change. Quite a
debate it was, too!
When a couple got married the woman took on her husband’s
name. In all formal communications she was addressed as Mrs John Smith. Even
the Guide Association adhered to this right into the 1970’s. Imagine that. The
second half of the 20th century and women were still addressed as if
they were the property of their husbands. No wonder women were campaigning for
equal rights.
A woman’s income was not taken into account when applying
for a mortgage or other major loan. It was expected that women would stop
working to raise children. Even if the woman earned more than her husband, her
salary would not be counted. It was the husband who bought the property, not
the woman.
And the thing that everyone is familiar with – women got
paid less than men for doing the same sort of work.
So this is where we were in the nineteen seventies.
Have the changes made a difference and have we benefitted?
Obviously it is great that women are no longer considered as
merely an appendage to their husband. Equal pay for equal work is equally
valued although it is still not universal.
But not all pushes for equality have been good, in my humble
opinion. Looking back, it seems to me
that the massive increase in house prices started when people could get bigger
mortgages because two incomes were allowed. I was on the cusp of this change.
We bought the house that was to start our family solely on the basis of one
income and have stuck to that policy ever since. I must be one of the last generation
to be able to say I gave up work to have a family and have never done more than
part time work mainly because I was bored not because we needed my extra
income.
I never wanted a career (apart from writing) so I was lucky.
I never needed to work thanks to a hard working husband who actually loves
working and doesn’t want to retire. But I do feel sorry for all those who have to work in ordinary jobs, the
office workers, the shop assistants, the receptionists, the call centre
workers, the people who keep things going for the high flyers, who now have to
work all their lives to help pay the bills, where once they could take a break
while the kids were growing up and maybe go back for a second chance later in
life.
Being a working mum and then expecting everyone to lend a
hand looking after the kids is something I never had to do. I suppose it is the
way of life these days. The current government seems to frown on stay at home
mums. But then again the number of stay at home mums is dwindling as mums can’t
afford to stay at home. I have never been a great advocate of maternity leave,
which may be surprising. I believe that if you decide to have a baby then you
should be certain you can afford to have it without returning immediately to
work. By immediately I mean within six months to a year in which time you get a
certain amount of pay plus a guarantee that your job will be waiting for you
when you decide to go back. Obviously there are lots of unplanned babies, so
that makes things more complicated, but you can understand some employers being
reluctant to take on women if they might have to pay for them not to work. And it’s the ordinary jobs
I’m talking about again, not the high flyers.
Society is changing. Women need to work while they are also
raising families. I’m not sure if this is good or bad. Mixing in nurseries can
be good for children, it helps them to socialise. But it gives less time for
them to learn from their parents on things like moral values. It makes it
harder for children to relate to parents. Their carers are the people who tell
them what to do, why should they listen to parents who do little but get them
up in the morning and put them to bed at night? It is possibly too early to say
how these children will react when they reach adolescence and adulthood but
this could be the reason for the ‘entitlement’ culture that is growing as
parents give their children everything they demand maybe subconsciously trying
to make up for not being there in the early years. I’m not a psychologist so
I’m probably talking rubbish but it is something to consider.
I do think dads should be allowed a limited amount of
paternity leave. New mums need help and it can be a very lonely place in those
first months. Maybe dads should have every Wednesday off for the first couple
of months so that mum is never left alone for more than two days at a time. This
may help reduce the incidence of post-natal depression. Just a thought.
All in all, I do appreciate the steps that have been taken
in equality. But I do feel women need to make up their minds just exactly what
they want. We need women to have children, otherwise our species will die out. It
is a fact that this job cannot be given to anyone else other than a woman. It
is time to think that this as equally important as building a house or working
in a shop. Maybe it is time women were paid to have children, freeing up
thousands of jobs on hold because of maternity leave and re-establishing the
pattern of young people taking jobs until they started a family then giving up
their jobs for young people to work, or for older people to return after the
family raising break.
Just my thoughts.
