A lot has been said about
children being upset, targeted or abused because of social media, either mentally
or physically. I think the same applies to adults as well. I frequently see
posts from ‘friends’ on Facebook saying that they have been blocked by people,
insulted by people or generally upset by something someone has said. I think it
is time to look at what we expect from social media and whether we should be
using it.
Facebook started as a way
for students to share what they were doing and have a laugh. It has grown
uncontrollably as everyone and his cat wants his/her voice heard.
Let’s think about how it
has changed our relationships. Before Facebook and Twitter (although I don’t
use Twitter that much on a personal basis) the only people I knew were those I
met face to face. I freely admit I’m not a very good face to face person. I don’t
make friends easily, never have, never will. That’s me. I know a fair few
people, but no one I have ever worked with has kept in touch, even the people I
met through my Guiding days never contact me apart from one true friend. And
that’s me. I have one friend from my childhood, one friend from Guides, one
friend in the village and one recent friend who shares my love of writing; but
I have lots of acquaintances, or people I know but who never visit me and I
never visit them. Even family barely keep in touch. That’s me. My early
childhood was one of isolation even though we lived in London. For the number
of people we knew and called friends, we could have lived on the top of a
mountain somewhere.
I am now on Facebook and
have lots of ‘friends’. I put that word in inverted commas because they are not
real friends. They are real people and I am very grateful for knowing them.
They have widened my world enormously. I know people in America, Germany,
Australia, as well as every corner of the UK. They share their lives, sometimes
a bit too much, and their views, and have made me think about things I would
never have considered before. For that I wish Facebook had been around when I
was much younger. I might have gone out and done something constructive with my
life instead of just letting it drift by.
I have been lucky with my
‘friends’. I have never been insulted by any of them. I would dearly miss going
through my newsfeed every day (although I really must limit myself) to see what
is happening, and going back to being isolated in my own little world. I joined
Facebook in the first place to promote my books. Everyone said you have to be
on Facebook. Well, I don’t think that is true. I have a Public profile,
whatever that means, I think it means anyone can see my posts if they want to
and I want everyone in the world to see my posts because I want them to know
about my books. So I try to be careful and not share anything but news
bulletins and such, not personal stuff that someone might not want the world to
know.
But what about other
people, what are they looking for?
Facebook has been a
nightmare for careless users. People getting their homes trashed by strangers
because they mentioned they were having a party and not realising who they were
inviting. People getting their characters assassinated (and I’m not talking
about characters in books being killed off) because someone they don’t really
know decides to take a potshot at them. Children being groomed by unsavoury people
wanting to do despicable things to them. So everyone needs to be aware of how
to stay safe.
What rules are there to
keep everyone happy?
Very few as far as I can
see. You can request posts be deleted. You can block people you don’t want to
associate with. But there is very little check on whether anyone is who they
say they are; that what they put on their profile is correct; that any groups
that are set up are fair to their followers. After all there are millions of
things posted every day and it is impossible for every single one of them to be
monitored. I’m sure the people who do monitor it have horrendous stories of the
things they have taken down.
With this in mind
everyone should be aware of what they are looking for from Facebook and other
media. Keeping in touch with family? Fine. Great way for instant contact with
family spread around the world, but don’t forget other people on your friends list
can see you posts. It might be better to text direct, Skype or Facetime them.
Remember when you post pictures of your children those pictures will be there
FOREVER. And despite your security settings they may well end up where you don’t
want them seen.
Sharing general
chit-chat? Fine. But keep it general. Don’t give out personal details. Don’t
bare your soul to the world, because, surprise, surprise, not everyone in the
world is as nice as you think you are (don’t we all think we are wonderful).
The world is full of people who are richer than you, poorer than you, more
intelligent than you, more stupid than you, etc. etc. And you never know how
they are going to react to the things you say. Or the things you do.
I am sure Facebook
benefits a huge number of people who are isolated and lonely. But to be safe,
to be happy and secure, it is very important to be careful about what you say
and do.
Stay safe and enjoy.
